Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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