why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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