So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
