I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
