Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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