addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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