NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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