i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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