can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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