Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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