Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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