If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
