Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
