Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
