Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize