D3 body, D1 cock
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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