Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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