just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
