i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
