Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize