I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
