I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
