My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im holly from the hills drunk
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
