This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
