I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
