He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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