God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
