Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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