Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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