hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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