The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize