Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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