he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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