...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
