what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
