Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize