Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
