Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure

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(302): View more from Delaware

I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.

(302): View more from Delaware

I love summer.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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(863): View more from Florida

If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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(214): View more from Texas

You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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(520): View more from Arizona

she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"

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(302): View more from Delaware

Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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(612): View more from Minnesota

It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.

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(305): View more from Florida

The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.

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