i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
