weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
