that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
