Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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