i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
