he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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