i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
