wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
