Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
