i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
