smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize