You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
