It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
