Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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