it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
