Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
