About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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