hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
