shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
