JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
