**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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