I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
