Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
