I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize