VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sext me about skeletons
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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