But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's the barista slut.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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