Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
