maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
only you would photoshop your dick
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
