the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
