how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
