Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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