at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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