i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
