If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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