Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
