K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
