It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
