i would punch a child for taco bell
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
