p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
