OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've blown a few things in my day
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
